Only 23 days left!! Today I was able to get my ten things done early and I enjoyed every one of them. I am feeling better today than I did yesterday. I think I will be just fine by Friday.God always gives me the strength to take care of the things I need too. It is easy sometimes to base things on the way I am feeling.instead of taking into consideration who is ultimately in charge. I always ask him for guidance, but I don't always wait patiently for an answer.I will often think I probably need to do something else before he answers instead of just being quiet and getting out of his way.
I have been asking for his guidance for about thirty seven years now, you would think by now I would wait a little more quietly. I can remember my very first prayer to God. It was very short. I must have been about five or six because we were living in the trailer in the woods near the Keyport junction. I was sitting on the floor in my bedroom between my bed and my sisters. I asked God to please help me be good so nothing bad would happen to me that day and then I said Amen.
When I was younger he seemed very far away and unapproachable and my conversations with him were just about daily but they were kept to a minimum. I always imagined him as an angry God wanting to strike me with lightening ,but somewhere deep inside I had hope that one day he just might help me out and that he would not be angry with me anymore. I accepted Christ at the age of nine and I was very excited about that. I felt like I might have a chance .But since I had a distorted view of Gods love for me I asked Jesus in my heart every night before I went to sleep for the next fifteen years. I was sure I messed up every day too bad for the original one to stick.
When I was twenty five I went to a Spirit Filled Church. I was a little nervous because I had been warned about Pentecostal people and was not sure what to expect. I remember sitting there a little bewildered as I watched and uncertain about what was going on but at the same time I was very curious because they seemed to have a deep connection with God like he was right there with them . I started attending regularly and listening to testimonies and watching
.One Sunday I felt the Holy spirit like I never had before and I went forward for prayer for the first time ever in my life and rededicated my life to Christ while my sister in law Dawn stood behind me with her hand on my shoulder crying tears of joy.Soon after that I was baptized . As a baby I had been baptized Catholic because my Dad was Catholic so I didn't realize I needed it again and what it really meant. My life was not the same after that and I knew God really loved me just as I was and that he was always very near.It now feels like he is in the room instead of a million miles away.What a wonderful difference that makes.
For this is what the high and lofty one says- he who lives forever, whose name is holy: " I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite, I will not accuse forever, nor will I always be angry, for then the spirit of man would grow faint before me- the breath of man that I have created. I was enraged by his sinful greed; I punished him and hid my face in anger, yet he kept on his willful ways. I have seen his ways but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him. ISAIAH 57:15-18
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