Day 95

Only five days left !!! It has been a wonderful day today and I have just completed my ten things.One of the things this personal journey has taught me is how to make the most of my days I have been blessed with and not to waste anymore precious time and to rely on God to give me the strength I need in EVERY area of my life. It says in 2 Chronicles that the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.

I have let the fear of not having enough strength at times keep me from doing the things I desire to do instead of trusting God to give me the strength to accomplish it. He will not lay things on are our hearts to do and then not equip us with what we need to get the task done. I found that when I am not doing what he has asked of me I will feel discontent and the more discontent I feel the more things I try to find to do to take away that feeling of being discontent and then pretty soon I am so busy doing all these other things and then I don't feel like I have time to do what he wants.It is like a crazy merry go round that you can't jump off of.

I don't know how many people I have talked to over the years that don't feel like they are doing what God layed on their hearts. They have a longing that burns inside that never goes away and I hear them talk about it and you can see the sparkle in their eyes and hear the excitement in their voice when they talk about it, but fear and doubts keep them from stepping out of the boat. I am one that always wants to be 100% sure about everything. I don't know how many fleeces I have thrown out and then If I have not liked the answer necessarily I have thrown out a second fleece and then I get the same answer. I wonder if God has looked down at me and wondered why do I always have to tell you twice??

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.You discern my going out and my laying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
PSALM 139:9-10